Oh, it’s New Year’s resolution time. It always makes me chuckle a little when people use the first of the year to either start working out, eating clean, or being a nice person. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve definitely jumped on all of the different bandwagons myself. I’ve gone through the New Year’s Fitness Craze where I joined a gym, went for the first 3 weeks and then didn’t step a foot inside that gym for the remainder of the membership. I also went through a phase where I would use the New Year’s resolution to better myself. For example, one year I vowed to be a better listener to my husband. And another year I tried to not let my initial response always be a negative one (I’m still working on this one). While all of these things are great changes to make, none of them seemed to fit this year. It wasn’t until I spent over 9 days on the beautiful beaches of Mexico that I gained some clarity. I spent the entire vacation completely unplugged. Completely. Not being able to check my social media accounts, worry about what I was going to post, or even think about the blog was the best thing for me. It also brought me to the realization that I’m not being my best authentic self. The realization came at me pretty hard too. I have no idea when I lost all confidence in myself. I’ve never been one to follow the crowds, so why am I trying to when it comes to the blog?
Here are some of the problems:
***Somewhere along the line of creating this blog, I became afraid of failing at it. . .and that’s totally holding me back. For example: I have about 25 posts typed out that I haven’t published. Why? Because in some way they aren’t perfect. The pictures aren’t good enough, the words weren’t flowing easily, the activity was a big fail. . .whatever the case, it’s absolutely ridiculous.
***I absolutely LOVE creating printables. Like I’ve said in earlier posts, being organized makes my heart sooooo happy. But sometimes, I just don’t publish them. I’m afraid I’ll make a mistake (which I totally did for the Bill Payment Checklist #ofcourse) or someone will think it’s stupid. I also love making printables for fun activities with my kids. Being a former teacher, it’s kinda an obsession. I typically don’t publish because I don’t want the people from my “real-life” who read my blog to make fun of me for being so nerdy. It’s absolutely ridiculous.
***I also look at some fashion bloggers and think that I would LOVE to do that. But then this little voice in my head pops up telling me that I would have to start shopping in different places, how expensive it would be to get started, you name it! Folks, I shop at Patagonia, Prana, Lululemon and Target. I do not wear heels, boots with heels, stylish hats or many accessories on a daily basis because I HAVE THREE 3 YEAR OLDS!!!! And you know what? I actually LIKE my style. . . so why in the world would I try to change? It’s absolutely ridiculous.
***Recipes: Why am I not at the very least sharing these? Beyond ridiculous.
***Last but not least, I’m obsessed. . .literally obsessed with decorating. I follow waaaaay too many decor bloggers (is that the right term?). Want to guess at what’s holding me back here? Well, the current style is light and bright. My style is not. #bummer But again, I LIKE my style. I live in the mountains. My house has a mountain feel to it. We just built our home and we’ve only been in it for 2 years. I got to hand-pick every single thing in it. I’m patiently waiting until the kids are older so that I can start decorating again, but fear of being different than the current style is holding me back in this area. Again, it’s absolutely ridiculous.
So there you have it. This year my New Year’s resolution is to be UNAPOLOGETICALLY MYSELF. No more second guessing myself, my clothes, my house, my cooking or who I am. If I like an outfit, I’m posting it. If I like a nerdy printable, I’m posting it. If/when I completely fail at a kids’ activity, I’m posting it. Printables? I’m posting them. If my pictures aren’t perfect? I’m posting it. Decor? I’m posting it. If I’m rambling on about a post because the words just need to come out, I’m posting it.
Brace yourself: you’re about to see the real me. This Type-A, over-organized introvert is about to come out of her shell. 🙂
Do you have a New Year’s resolution?